My God, My God

“My God, My God, O why hast Thou
Forsaken Me?” we heard Him cry;
Not one of us could fathom how
God turned His back, and let Him die.

I couldn’t move; so I reproached
Myself for trusting such a fool.
Had every hearer failed to broach
The lunacy that He could rule

Our people? This man was no king;
In poverty, though skilled in trade,
He lived off others’ offering
While leading crowds in vast parades

Of desperate, dirty, damaged lives,
Whose confidence He swayed with words—
As one who easily contrives
Whatever draws the hopeless herds.

Then from the cross He met my eyes,
And held them ‘til my knees gave way.
From what, I could not recognize—
Nothing I knew, nor know today.

Then He was dead, and I cried now:
My God, my God, O why hast Thou

Forgiven me?

About Jenn

While pursuing my literary and professional goals, I managed a severe form of gastroparesis (paralysis of the stomach) for six years, now complicated by full GI failure and a nonspecific autonomic failure of unknown etiology. In August of 2010, I finally had my stomach removed (total gastrectomy) to stop the 24/7 nausea and to lessen the risk of spreading infection to my central IV line (port-a-cath), as both of my gastric tubes (one G-tube in my stomach; one J-tube in my small intestine) were chronically–and extremely painfully–infected for longer than a year. I couldn’t possibly have survived the six-plus years of TPN (IV nutrition), surgeries, new (and unrelated) diagnoses, and being forced to go on disability without my amazingly supportive, encouraging, adoring, patient Care Partner and husband, Greg (married 1999)… Who reminds me of the unconditional, perfect love of God as shown through His Son, Jesus. My writing credits include The Da Vinci Code Adventure and Two Roads Through Narnia as well as several movie review compilations. Not all of the entries are health-related. My conditions have finally settled into a quasi-normal routine. There will be ebbs and flows, but I am still active, and plan to live as long as I’m alive.
This entry was posted in Journal, Poetry, Recent Poetry, Reflections, Spiritual Explorations. Bookmark the permalink.

0 Responses to My God, My God

  1. Mona says:

    Touches my heart. Thanks Jenn.

  2. Jenn says:

    Thanks, Mona… You’re always the first to pay attention and ALWAYS the first to encourage. Thank YOU!

  3. Boni Piper says:

    A blessing Jen. Thank you for sharing your insight.

  4. Jenn says:

    Thank you, Boni. You’re such a part of my reconnection with my heart through words… It’s a blessing to have people to share in it.

  5. Greg Wright says:

    I love the sense of immediacy, and the flow of the language. Reminds me a lot of Wilfred Owen’s stuff.

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