The Sabbath Death

I know I am an uninvited guest;
From birth I eat my fill of what you’ve sown.
How well I wear the moniker of “pest;”
Yet I hate what I am more than you’ve known.

I’m green or brown, with ample legs to spare;
Your garden is my happy hunting ground.
My goal is not to leave your garden bare,
Though I’m aware how hollow that must sound.

A worm with legs, antennae, appetite,
Consumed with food, by food, perhaps as food.
But on this day I’ll take my final bite
And die alone, in sacred solitude.

I’m still and silent, shrouded in the black
Of what I know to be my final days.
My body starts to wither, shrivel, crack—
Yet I feel nothing as my form decays.

Then suddenly my coffin can’t contain
My desiccated flesh a moment more;
It’s rent from inside out—yet I remain
Alive, but not the way I was before.

Then light assaults my dark-familiar eye;
I crawl outside—surprised I did not die;
Unfold my wings, and leap to meet the sky:
A worm no more. I am a butterfly.

About Jenn

While pursuing my literary and professional goals, I managed a severe form of gastroparesis (paralysis of the stomach) for six years, now complicated by full GI failure and a nonspecific autonomic failure of unknown etiology. In August of 2010, I finally had my stomach removed (total gastrectomy) to stop the 24/7 nausea and to lessen the risk of spreading infection to my central IV line (port-a-cath), as both of my gastric tubes (one G-tube in my stomach; one J-tube in my small intestine) were chronically–and extremely painfully–infected for longer than a year. I couldn’t possibly have survived the six-plus years of TPN (IV nutrition), surgeries, new (and unrelated) diagnoses, and being forced to go on disability without my amazingly supportive, encouraging, adoring, patient Care Partner and husband, Greg (married 1999)… Who reminds me of the unconditional, perfect love of God as shown through His Son, Jesus. My writing credits include The Da Vinci Code Adventure and Two Roads Through Narnia as well as several movie review compilations. Not all of the entries are health-related. My conditions have finally settled into a quasi-normal routine. There will be ebbs and flows, but I am still active, and plan to live as long as I’m alive.
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0 Responses to The Sabbath Death

  1. Greg Wright says:

    Really nice work, wifelet. Your revisions in those final two stanzas in particular make the piece pop. My favorite lines: “A worm with legs, antennae, appetite, / Consumed with food, by food, perhaps as food. But on this day I’ll take my final bite / And die alone, in sacred solitude.” Connecting the Sabbath feast with the New Covenant Sabbath rebirth… brilliant.

  2. Jenn says:

    Thanks, hublet! Your explorations of Peter have inspired me!

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